#11. The end:-Of the last year.

This year started with shout-outs to farmers, laborers, artist, academicians, engineers, doctors, peasants, politicians, husbands, wives, daughters, sons, sisters, brothers- all men, women & children.All people.
Every once in a while I write about things that move me.They can be simple but sort of profound ideas like human rights, human dignity, peace & freedom or sometimes ideas so big I can’t even get around to understanding them.
Why is that the life of an African kid is worth less to me than someone’s close to me?
I don’t know but it is.
I realize there is evil every-where & bad people all around but i don’t feel vindictive towards any of them. I want to. But I don’t.

Practice makes a man stylish.I sit here cursing myself for not buying that one extra pack of gum. How a small decision can change the course of your life. I trust people with dangerous ease. Can’t help it. There are times when I want to inspire them ’cause I know they are brilliant, more smarter than me capable of much more. I know that everything that can be accomplished is seldom attempted but when that happens it brings out the best in us. It is possible to cross social, economic & political barriers to strive for progress, for those that are/were outcast so i guess there is hope. ‘Cause the only thing i know is that the bad people who do bad things were not born wanting to do those bad things. We have to create sustainable republics. We must reach for acts that equal the demands of the moments.

It also requires a characteristic sense to realize that which is wrong.It is completely appropriate for an atheist to celebrate Eid-al-Fitr or Christmas: of course it is. A national holiday, in this country, can’t hold an exclusively religious meaning. The secular importance of the holiday is beyond the principles of any specific religion: it is good will toward all people–a frame of mind and a display of integral fidelity the nature of which isn’t an exclusive property…of any religion says Rand.The humanitarian trait required to be a citizen is decency, which again is the product of despair and intellectual stagnation.Thinking women cannot be ruled; ambitious men will not stay still.

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I myself feel alarmingly rebellious, aggressive and i guess really naive at times. Often times i’m neurotic & obsessed about changing everybody & everything. It’s so extreme that i feel sick & so unhappy ’cause the ways of the world are so overwhelming and I’ve sort of absorbed that so readily…emotionally. So then there are times when i go to the opposite extreme where i don’t care & i want to give up. A surge of human apathy engulfs my senses & i don’t like that either since somewhere I feel this need to participate & do my role as a citizen & as a person.Knowing that me ignoring everything will not be an answer to my quest. And so i recently found a nice balance..a ground in the form of writing & documenting. Also during my work with these various NGOs while making documentaries, I realized it’s about subtle changes & embracing,acknowledging the people who make those subtle but important changes ’cause collectively all those efforts & changes add up. And if we encourage that, they build up on themselves. For me it has become about that & finding inspiration and not being neurotic or apathetic. Just about getting up and getting things done. Jumping into things without planning too excessively so that I am there already before i begin to frame a scheme about how to get there.

I used to be a supreme-cynic & that easy too but I’ve been a part of  various protest in the past & I’ve experienced/learnt different.I’m in a position to claim true civic moments & the power it has to mobilize social & political mentalities. I met people-men, women, children of faith & peace & understanding, of intent & aggression. I had conversations that left me shocked & at times pleasantly surprised. I have realized the price you must pay for democracy and I now understand the fidelity & devotion required to create & sustain one. And if I, a self-serving fellow can learn these trivial things then well I’m sure the rest of you who are, well.. better than me…I mean it. I want to be with you & want you to be with me. I hope I can connect with you. For a while, I hope you forget that I’m usually a wide butt-hole. From time to time haven’t we all articulated a hundred million reasons for thousand million things but right now this planet needs people who defy the borders of social & political agendas & personal beliefs.

We need to find solutions so what else can we as law abiding citizens of this country do but protest, stamp out penetrating public discussions & form alliances against that which is wrong. People are fighting to live, girls & boys are getting raped and countless others suffering right now as we will all continue breathing.There is no need for anybody to hide behind the reluctance of others to do it. There is no moral, intellectual or social reason not to do it. Let’s just protest, at home & outside.This is about holding our politicians accountable for not being able to protect the people(especially the women) of this country.It’s time we destroy their greed for their precious politics & power & scare them sweat-less. Let’s create a government that becomes an instrument of good where we can come together, all of us and no one gets left behind. A government that mourns the death of a humble rickshaw-puller jut the same as it would mourn the death of its’ Prime Minister . Let’s all protest, do it everyday and everywhere. Let’s shove our ego maniacal instincts & beliefs out into utter oblivion & just protest. Screw the damn crime-sloths,  this country deserves a better class of criminals and we are gonna give it to them.

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